{"id":533,"date":"2017-05-12T19:57:44","date_gmt":"2017-05-12T19:57:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.marcbilgrey.com\/marcbilgreyblog\/?p=533"},"modified":"2017-05-12T19:57:44","modified_gmt":"2017-05-12T19:57:44","slug":"dead-wrong","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marcbilgrey.com\/marcbilgreyblog\/dead-wrong\/","title":{"rendered":"DEAD WRONG"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Many years ago, the great George Carlin did a wonderful piece about euphemisms for death. Words and phrases that people use because they can\u2019t deal with actually saying the real words. So instead of saying, \u201cHe died,\u201d people will say, \u201cHe passed away.\u201d<\/p>\n

I was reminded of this recently, when I noticed a few new euphemisms that appeared after Carlin himself bought the farm. You know, bit the big one. The first is the word \u201cpassed.\u201d For years, people referred to dying as passing away; now it\u2019s been shortened from two words to one. So, your uncle hasn\u2019t passed away, he\u2019s just \u201cpassed.\u201d Previous to this new usage the word passed<\/em> was something you did to a football or a kidney stone. But we live in an age where passing away is way too much to say. As are the words, air conditioner<\/em>. That\u2019s been reduced to an A.C. As in, turn on the AC while I get a PB and J. (That\u2019s a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, for those without access to a ten year old.)<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s another euphemism I just saw in a commercial for insurance. We see a man, woman and two small children. The camera zooms onto the man as a very serious voice says, \u201cWhat would your family do if SOMETHING happened to you?\u201d They don\u2019t say what that something<\/em> might be. It could be that you gained 400 hundred pounds. That would<\/em> be something. Or that you put on a moose costume and went to live in the woods. That would really<\/em> be something. The commercial never mentions the word death or dying. That\u2019s too much for people to deal with. But SOMETHING happening? That<\/em> everyone can handle.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>Another commercial (maybe I\u2019m watching too much TV) shows a bunch of people sitting around looking unhappy. The voice over announcer (he never seems to show up in person, in fact he probably passed) says: \u201cNeed money for final expenses?\u201d Since he never says what \u201cfinal expenses\u201d are, it\u2019s left up to the viewer to figure out. It could be a restaurant check, credit card bill, or divorce settlement. (But enough about my problems.) The word \u201cfuneral\u201d is, after all, so crass, so crude, so descriptively specific.<\/p>\n

My favorite new death euphemism is one I heard on yet another commercial, this one on the radio. After you\u2019ve paid your final expenses<\/em>, you can buy some property at the memorial park<\/em>. Keep in mind, it\u2019s not a graveyard or cemetery; those places are dark and creepy. They\u2019re not happy and pleasant, like a memorial park. At a cemetery all you have are dead people, however, at a memorial park there are picnics, concerts, and baseball games. Cemeteries are depressing, memorial parks are fun.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Well, that\u2019s it for me. I hope this little essay will be remembered when I keel over, push up daisies (I\u2019d rather push up petunias) and go off to that big writer\u2019s room in the sky.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Many years ago, the great George Carlin did a wonderful piece about euphemisms for death. Words and phrases that people use because they can\u2019t deal with actually saying the real words. So instead of saying, \u201cHe died,\u201d people will say, … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[117],"tags":[149,150],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marcbilgrey.com\/marcbilgreyblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/533"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marcbilgrey.com\/marcbilgreyblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marcbilgrey.com\/marcbilgreyblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marcbilgrey.com\/marcbilgreyblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marcbilgrey.com\/marcbilgreyblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=533"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/www.marcbilgrey.com\/marcbilgreyblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/533\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":549,"href":"https:\/\/www.marcbilgrey.com\/marcbilgreyblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/533\/revisions\/549"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marcbilgrey.com\/marcbilgreyblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=533"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marcbilgrey.com\/marcbilgreyblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=533"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marcbilgrey.com\/marcbilgreyblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=533"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}